Does anyone realize that I have learned to cut and paste? I love it!!!!! So this is an e-mail from Mother and I laughed today. Thus I am going to share. I have not learned yet to flip the bird, (Mike however my pointer finger is going a hundred miles an hour!) but I am feeling better.
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle.
It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because
by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house
is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ' XL.'
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is
so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
Did you ever notice: When you put the two words
'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying
about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like
to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is
that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks,
it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand around my mouth. AMEN
4 comments:
That Mom shes a hoot.... I am glad to know that I am not the only one that has fogotten to pull down their zipper.....
Sooo glad to know you laughed today!!
And please tell Mike, that forgeting to pull down one's zipper should come a little later in life!
That is all too funny, and much too true. Love you!
PS I love your bookshelf over there so much I just had to copy you....and maybe some of those books will have to find my way to the nightstand. I love to see what other people are reading!
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